That's Life

'That's life'...this is fast becoming my mantra, as I say it to myself, each time I come face to face with reality. When I can't afford something, or I can't have someone, I quickly pass it with, that's life. When I say it, I don't feel consoled neither do I get pacified, but it makes me more aware of my life and it's opportunities and challenges. That's life

 How many times I have fallen in love and it being thrown back in my face leaving me empty and soul searching. At times, I would make myself believe that I've got a problem...later on I'll realize nothing is wrong with me, and that's life

I recently offered to give to my church, and whilst I was praying and preparing my heart, so that I could get my blessings in return, I heard a voice (it was the Holy Spirit) deep and loud inside of me, telling me that God is not a money doubler. Honestly, this wasn't easy for me. I kept praying and hoping to hear the voice clearer. But for days, the voice reverberated in my ears and head severally. I though learnt a lesson in dealing with God, yet in reality it was hard to come to terms with. All I could assure my self was...that's life

I was listening to an article being read on radio, the article talked about the fact that in this life, we may never see what we ever wish for, and they might forever be locked in our fantasies. We may never hear what we want from the people we wish they had said it. This is nothing about life being unfair, but how life is probably supposed to be....it all ends up in my head as...that's life

Early 2013, I learnt to say the serenity prayer. It's one of which everyone should recite every morning. I have often times heard Fiifi Banson of peace FM, reciting it each time, he begins his show. I like the line that says..." Oh lord teach me to know what is right and give me the courage to do it, help me to know what I can change and what I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference". I believe that the wisdom of life lies in our ability to discern the distinction and variation in the things we can boldly do and that which our strength and courage can't suffice. 

Life is full of incongruities and vicissitudes. Like the tidal waves, the fluctuations in life can drain us of our passion and peace. Life till climax, will never be able to answer certain questions. Questions like why do bad things happen to good people? No sooner have we plunge in to the faith, do we come out choking, asking questions, as to why we were almost drowning. 

For me, this very moment of my life, happens to be a time I have just regained my faith after being shafted by doubt. Doubt that softly permeated in, in my quest to understand sacrifice. 

I think my whole life, has revolved around understanding sacrifice. In a chaffer with few colleagues, I was awakened with the reality, that sacrifice means, I won't get anything in return. It may happen that I may receive a reward some worth, but the cruel reality is that I might never get any, and might even be paid with evil...that's life.

I like to be loved, when I love. I like to be given back, when I give out. I like to be called back, when I call someone. I like mutual respect and relationship. But life doesn't guarantee that. The better I suss it out, the better it is for me. That's life. 

Though life has it's vicissitudes, yet it also has beautiful moments etched in it... Discovering those moments can at times be dissuading, yet it takes perseverance. Just to have peace, you have to fight for it. Quite ironic. This reminds me of a quote by Tao Te Ching, "One cannot understand one thing unless he or she understands its opposite"... To understand faith, you should understand doubt; to understand love, you should understand not being loved...that's life.

I don't know how you cool off, when the uncertainty of life hits you. I hope you find reflection in this. That's life.

I Hope: Letter to Abena

When I first heard the  words to  Rebecca Ferguson's I hope, I tried to ask myself obvious questions, but starring in the mirror, i couldn't find the missing pieces. I listened to the song several times at respite moments to decipher how i'm so related to this, because i knew that i was some-worth related.  Like we say, time tells, so i left the box unpacked and hoped that time will tell. I have this undying hope, that i try to define, but its meaning is much larger than i can clutch. Time finally came, and at a wrong click, a text unravels this whole agitation and meta-emotion.  Then all of a sudden, the message sunk deeper. In the words of the I hope song (paraphrased)

"I used to...Look into your eyes so eagerly

and where there was cold

I wouldn't walk away

'Cause...love is blind... so blind

But after a time

I realized that for me to grow

I've got to let go

I hope life treats you good

I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope

I hope life treats you well

I hope (s)he treats you well"

Its time for me to accept, and sink it deep through my skulls, that all i can do is but Hope for you.

This song resonates with that song i first heard from the stereo of a taxi driver, three years ago, people would ask, if you've hit a heartbreak if you were caught listening to the song, but today, i understand every single word in it, i meant, Adele's Someone Like you. Actually, what gets me trapped is the delusion of finding someone like you. I like the word you used yesterday, -to explore, it's not been a friendly word when this is concerned, because of the trap of finding someone like "you" -the you personified. Here's how Adele's words described my trap (so to say), exactly what happened; emphasis mine

"...I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. 
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I'll remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"

No need in reiterating those words again. Now, i feel like being burnt, and feeling the aftermath pain, quite relieving, but has a distant displeasing sensation. On my my way back home, this morning, starring through the window of the bus, all of a sudden i began mumbling out the words to Asa's 360, I found some inspiration there, and in three weeks, i finally laugh out due to my own sense of humor. What did Asa say;

"We don't have to go

the 360 degrees,

Now it's time to go the 180 

You don't have to climb

The highest mountain

For all you're looking for

Is within you

Open the eyes of your mind

Your ears and mouth

As I sing my song

Open the eyes of your mind

Your ears and mouth

As you hear my words o o o"

In the moving vehicle, I felt there's something in me i'm ignoring and looking else where...This is just another time this is happening to me, and at first i spent all my time killing me, i felt so inappropriate, and tried working on myself. But late last year i learnt that it's nothing about me. But what it is, i just can't pin it. But I think Asa's words are doing me some favor, but don't forget those of Adele, -read that again. Thank you, so much, for your friendly care and how you weaned me off without harming my respect. Thank you. 

Letters To God

In the movie "letters to God", Tyler was a kid hit with an illness that won't just go away. He suffered from cancer. Dealing with such illness at that tender age was quite challenging for both himself and his mother. But his ailment brought a lot of morals. 

Like any other kid, Tyler didn't understand why he had to go through such ordeal that denied him of his rights to play and run around like other kids. He found solace in writing letters to God, which he delivers to the postman. In these letters which he wrote daily, was the revelation of whom Tyler trusted. His letters included prayers for people around him,his neighbours,parents, friends and even the post man. His letters also included situation report of his sickness to God.

I find this incredible and impressive that a little boy with such a challenge that grounded him, could still trust in God and make efforts to talk to him daily. There were times that seemed everything was going to be al-right. Tyler was going to be free from Kiemo, could go back to school and play football. But just in the middle of celebrations, Tyler's health sunk in. 

In the quest to save Tyler's life, the postman, his best friend Sam,and his brother all came to know God personally. 
Though Tyler didn't make it, His mother became refined through the ruffle. His grand mum and all his neighbours on finding about Tyler's letters to God, also began writing letters to God. One ailment and a whole community was transformed. What do you do with your challenges?

No one other than my self, typically, will rend and screech my thoughts out looking for attention. I'll rub my pain all over everyone around in order to be pitied and sympathised. Unlike me, Tyler in the movie, though young, took the advantage to affect every one with his faith in God. How best do we deal with our predicaments, our pains and our loss. Do we go looking for sympathy votes or affect others with our defeatist mindset and blame others for our conditions or like Tyler, we turn to the only person who knows why we are going through such an experience. 

Broke But Inspired

I just have a dislike for the sun rays. It burns so hard against my brunette skin, which is supposed to be adaptable to the condition. On a hot day, I sweat like I've been locked up in an oven. Besides, when I sweat, I feel uneasy and unpicturesque. To avoid the harsh intensity of the sun, I hop into a taxi, and off I go...that goes with an extra uncalled for expenses.

This morning, feeling quite calm and poised, I planned to check on my investment and few others important financials, I have put off for long. Leaving home in the mid-morning, enjoying the warm breeze that tranquillize my mind. I hoped for a calmer day. 
Unfortunately, it's a Friday and everybody is in town, the traffic is terrible, and as the warm breeze is being heated to saturation by the afternoon sun-rays, it becomes unbearable to be outside. Taking a transit walk in between where I'm going, I feel unease with myself. Running on empty stomach, my migraine begins to emanate, what obviously would come on my mind, is a place to calm myself down, with a good lunch. 

Still on my going green agenda, I checked in at Bonjour, ordered a salad mix without mayonnaise, with some strands of Chips. 

Whilst, engrossed with chewing the lettuce and tomatoes, that tasted bald in my mouth, a young dark-skinned skinny girl, walked up to me, to share a handbill about the world poetry day awareness campaign. I kept the conversation going, not to listen to her, but I was actually starring at her. 

I gawked at her as if she had something going on...hmmm....I think she had something going on, at least I noticed. Her dry pink lipstick plastered on lips, so dry as if being painted with a kindergarten color pencil. As she spoke, I continued to gawk, and notice how I could hardly differentiate her face from her dark top ladies t-shirt. Her dark face made the lipstick distinct, with her dry face and a month old corn roll, twirled to give her a big head. The truth is, she looks so broke. As she steals glances on my meal. 

Though the conversation lasted for just 2minutes, yet I noticed a lot. As we were jawing, she brought out her business card from a 'vieux jeu' bag. I could only but steal a glance. As she handed her card over to me, I was overwhelmed and fascinated at her mental ability. She was up to something. The card read, she was into voice overs, voice coaching and graphic designs. That's just the least to talk about when it comes to young enterprising females. But what struck me, was how I had had my mind all over her frazzling war paint, and about getting dissuaded by her sweat grinning face, whilst she being self assured, that she was branding herself right. The truth is that, it's hard to find a grin, on anybody's face, walking in this scorching sun. She was inspired, even though broke. She taught me one lesson; though the sun may be hot, it shouldn't  affect our grin, neither should it kill our passion. 

As I took my last sip, of the lemonade, I hope as I step out into this sun, my passion will rather be ignited.  

>>written on march 21 2014 By Danyl Oppong

Working Up

Have you been on the same team with people who are so repulsive and object to almost every idea ? The usual feeling toward these people is resentment. They can be really obnoxious. Though they seem critical yet they are very emphatic. I had an experience with one today. 

Harry is a senior colleague at work. He's been around for the past 11yrs. But he's quite repulsive and rebuffs ideas easily. Most of my colleagues think he creates unnecessary pressure. Something happened today at work that change my perception about him.

We were to fix a gas pipeline system to a burner that has been fixed on to a furnace. Trying to do that, we encountered a design error. We tried our ways around it, but no avail. We blamed the previous shift of wrongly fixing the burner onto the furnace...it was getting dark, so we decided to leave the job for those who will come in the morning.

Half an hour later,after we returned back to the control room, Harry asked about how the job went. We told him that the situation at hand. And as his culture, he rebuffed...

"No no no no....there's a way around it...get your helmets and your gloves and let's get to the field."

You should see the look on our faces. We quickly grabbed our helmets and gloves and joined him, under the furnace. He made us remove one burner and tried to turn it to the side and fix again, but that wasn't possible. Then he made us remove all the burners that didn't fit with the gas pipeline. We tried to exchange their positions to see whether,it wasn't fixed in the right place. That too didn't work.

Comments had started flowing from mine colleagues (including me)...

"Oh it won't work...there's a problem with this and that..."

Harry was quiet and still, starring at the heavy burner that was on the floor.... Few minutes on...he sighed! He had noticed the problem.

Few days ago the burner was taken to the mechanical workshop for welding of some parts...in welding it, the cut off a rim, and mended it, but when fixing it back, they missed the original position of the rim, thus the holes don't fit into their places, thereby making the burner part that is to fit with the gas pipeline to exceed its length. The only way out, is for the mechanical guys to drill new holes on the rim of the burners, as they try it on the furnace, or they cut out the rim again and re-weld as they try it on the furnace.

How come we didn't notice this. A team of six guys, and a supervisor couldn't see the problem. It took another team member who wasn't part of the first troubleshooting to find out.

As we walk back to the control room, I could hear Harry's name on everyone's lip. Just then I recalled, a training event I attended two years ago. It was the festival of ideas. One of the thoughts that was shared,was building a team for transformation.

The presentation lead by Albert Ocran, highlighted the need to include several people with qualities he allegorically referred to as the Ace,the Spade, the hearts, and the king. The spades, were people who are very categorical and critical, just like Harry.

Harry's critical discernment, has changed my opinion. He's thought me vital lesson in problem identification and problem solving. The rest of us spent the next half hour talking about Harry's repulsiveness, and his veracious point of view. It was all alluded to the time he invests in studying and taking short courses on various subjects, including his vast interest and involvement in politics.

To me Harry has set a new standard. For me, I have decided to study and know every detail about every equipment and system in the plant. Each day, apart from my duties, I spend about 20-40 minutes tracing pipelines to and fro a system or equipment and study my manual. I believe if I'm consistent in this, by the next two years I'll be a master of the plant.

The confrontation of my life

Since I began to live on my own and champion this course of life independently, I never gotten myself into any trouble somewhat. I try to live my life void of delinquent and irreverent inclinations. Governing my life with moral certainty and probity.

But as I woke up this morning, I felt a sense of pride. as if I had won an award. I felt so fulfilled. Apparently, last night I had the confrontation of my life. If it were not for God's mercy, I wouldn't be strong enough to write this.

I was coming back from work late in the night. I arrived around the accra mall, at 11:10pm. I stop by a guy selling books, to purchase a small bible. Which later turned not to be of the quality I was looking for. As I was tossing thoughts of how I had bought an inferior bible...then I chanced on a guy, holding a Nescafé drink and urinating just beside the new construction site at spanner junction. As I have always reacted to such obscenity, I voiced out...and this led to the confrontation of my life. Here's the dialogue that ensued...

me: (walking past) stop urinating on the streets, it's not good.

Man: hey, hey (still urinating), wait, wait let me ask you where I should go and urinate. (quickly stuck his urinal organ back into his pants and comes after me)...Tell me where I should urinate

Me: but you should know...it doesn't make sense to urinate on the streets

As he drew closer, I could smell a pungent stink of strong alcohol from his breath.

Man: streets ?....(.pointing to the road)...that's the streets...I didn't urinate on the streets...

Taxi driver: (intruding),that place is a walk way...

Me: (speaking directly to the man, and pointing to the road), that is not a street, that is a road for cars, you urinated on the street and that is not good.

Just then, another man joined the argument, he is a friend of the first man, also intoxicated.

Man 2: (hitting me on the chest), show him where he should urinate.

Me; go and ask the government, not me. You should learn to control yourself..

Man2: (talks to his friend), leave this guy, he is v-e-r-y stupid.

Me: if I'm to compare what you did with what I said, which do you think is stupid.

Man2: I see you are very very stupid

Man1: you see, you started this whole thing.

Me: what did I start ?, you called me stupid, and I was comparing what you did with the reason why you think I'm stupid, to see who is actually stupid.

Both men goes to stand beside a taxi...

Me: if you don't have anyone to tell you the truth, I'll will.

Man1: ( comes to hit me on the chest and pushes me) you are acting all religious.

Me: (holding a small bible) religious?...this has got nothing to do with religion...this has got to do with being patriotic...aren't you a Ghanaian? You think I'm acting religious because of this bible?, i could put this bible away.

Man1: I dare you to put this bible away and see, if I don't beat the hell out of you...who are you at all ?...who are you?

Me: (responding abruptly) I'm a Ghanaian, I'm a Ghanaian. ..and I care about my country...about how my tax is being used. Don't you pay tax,!!..(at this time my pitch had reach it's limit)

Man2: this guy is very stupid..,leave him...if he jokes I'll beat him up...(walks up to me and holds my shirt...pulling me)...drop the bible and I'll beat the daylight out of you...(he leaves me)

Me: as if I'm scared...look if I'm counting those I'm scared of in this life...you don't even show up...me scared of you...if you beat me...will that make you big or small?, mtcheew

(They both walk towards the taxi)

Me: (continues to rent aloud) if you've got some to drink and you don't know what to do...only unintelligent people will urinate just anywhere...

Man2: what are you saying...who is unintelligent...(hitting me on the chest again)...you a big fool...I said you are fool..

Man1: leave him alone...he's really a fool...i say he should drop the bible...and I will teach him a lesson of his life.

Me: you expect me to be shivering huh...not me...

(Negotiates with a taxi driver, and gets into the taxi)

Man 2: (approaches the taxi) what are you even saying...I say drop the bible...and I will...

Me: (cuts in) the bible is mine...so what's your prob'em, what's your prob'em....if you beat me, it will neither make you big or small or add to your weight...what's your prob'em...

Man2: look at the way you are speaking...as if you are British...I'll beat you..

Me: (beckons taxi driver to move on...stick out my head...and screams)...only unintelligent people will urinate anywhere...(taxi zooms off)

I got home feeling so courageous..,checked the time, 1am..huh...couldn't even say a prayer...I slept off.

In my courageous mood...when I arrived at work today ...I couldn't hesitate to tell my colleagues of my story...but I had the the worst answer of all. As I was narrating the incident...they abruptly cut me...with Ghanaian exclamations and comments

."...arrhhhh...eeeerrrh....massa, don't try that again...if someone is urinating ah...leave him and walk away....even after telling him to stop, the moment you realize he's angry...just run away...what if they injured you or killed you..."

As I sat in the room listening to them take turns in sharing experiences of night confrontations...my heart bleed...I don't want to start another argument here...they'll all conclude I have a problem.

What are they telling me?....this is a typical way a Ghanaian will react? Was I wrong to have stood up for my country?...hmm

Maid in Manhattan

In the movie Maid in Manhattan; Marisa a hotel maid had through serendipity met Chris a politician...their different worlds made Marisa felt insecure in allowing anything to happen between them. 

As much as she threaded cautiously...she hoped it might turn out to be a something good. She had her fears all up. Just when she thought things were getting better, then all came crumbling...she was fired from the hotel for breaking their ethics and her love was on the verge of been taking away from her by another rival. 

As she finds her way home, she wept like a baby girl whose toy has been taken away from her. Only to get home and find her mother making her face the reality of living without a job...the bills that will come in every month...irrespective of her loss. 

Right here, I could feel her pain, as I sat in my couch watching the movie...I turned my face to the ceiling and asked God...why is life so harsh?...her love has just been snatched from her hand...as she was trying to hold back...she lost her job in the process...what, how..can't life give her a break...just then I remembered an article by a former editor of the graphics newspaper, as reported by Albert Ocran in one of his presentations; the editor who had apparently lost his father and had joined a taxi...on reaching his destination...the taxi driver asks..."my money sir"...the editor looked perplexed...then he realized "life must go on"...  

Marisa was in just the same shoes...she felt like why won't life give her a break...but the cruel reality is that life must go on.

Yes, your love might have just been taken away from you...you must have just lost a job, a loved one...or probably, your marriage...the cruel reality is that life must go on..life won't pause because of you. Your meter won't stop reading because of your predicament, your car won't stop consuming fuel, the children's fees will still stare are you...your exam won't run away...you still have to face life...it is in this that the real man inside you shows.